This is a collection of story written on a journal about the adventure of a sensible young girl, Maria, who dreams of a life that is full of eccentricity. The journey has yet to finish.
Entry #1
Sometimes the only way to achieve the impossible is to be too young and stupid to know it's impossible. Better to act while you're still foolish enough to think you know everything than to be slowly frozen by the creeping uncertainty of bitter wisdom...
I am Maria, and this is my journal.
My waking hours have been filled with nothing but monotonous activities, work at the wharf, check for cargoes, report to my grandfather, take care of small business matters, repeat. It's very robotic. My body is freely wandering around, tired, but my mind is constricted of its vast ideas, of absurd dreams in epic proportions. So I'm starting a book about my experiences, and the ones here are nothing that I would write, mostly.
I'm just finding the right time, any reasons, and/or motivation to execute this plan, this journey.
PS If you're reading this, close this and give it to me, or throw it in the ocean if you can never find me or else your death is near, and it's inevitable.
PPS Please don't show this to my grandfather cause my death will be near, and it's going to be inevitable..
Entry #36
I found it! A Blue Blossom fish, A creature that shouldn't be in the seas of Alberta. It's like a calling, a symbolic figure for something I have always wanted. A beautiful thing, stark and alien to its surroundings, from somewhere far away treading a new world, learning, experiencing. I know it's a lot of characteristics for a fish, but I admired the little thing.
Somehow, this encounter nudged something in my soul, a piece of music that has been playing in the background for so long, I have forgotten that its there. That now I feel that my hands must do something, that my feet must go somewhere. Touch the heaven. Dance the world.
Entry #38
"Ooh... A Fish! Now I must travel the whole Midgard!"
That sounded stupid.
Ugh..I don't know, I think I was too worked up by the fish that I forgot how real life works, that there is so many things that I should be considering if ever I want to do something as drastic and crazy, I have always been a sensible girl.
On the other hand, my pet, Koko has always been the eccentric one, chasing birds and being lost consequentially, I have never been that careless in my life.
So I sat with Koko for endless hours, wished that he could speak so he can give me an advice. I am definitely losing my mind.
Entry #41
It has been a long time since my encounter with that beautiful fish, and the sense of urgency and passion has only but waned a few times, maybe that is why I have only decided just now to do it. Whatever it is I said at the beach, high on the promise of a bright tomorrow, that feeling is still fresh in my mind.
So I'll be setting out to the great unknown in a few hours from now, but first I told my little cousin to take care of Grand Papa.
And surely enough, I was berated by my beloved Grandfather, telling me how foolish I am, maybe he's right. But its for me to know.
I will surely miss home, looking at the stars tonight, I'll know it will always be the same wherever I am.
Entry #42
I couldn't even sleep last night, I said my prayers and just went out to the docks where the ships are, looking at the sunset, till people fill the once empty streets, doing their own routine everyday, and the thought scares me that I wouldn't know what to do next.
So I board the ship with that in mind, but as I watch my home, Alberta -the only place I ever knew, slowly turn smaller, the infinitesimal feeling of endlessness of potential bursts into fireworks.
And as I stood there taking it all in, I was happy of my decision, only but one. I have packed a very heavy bag!
Entry #47
The dessert is very overwhelming, having been dropped off very far away from Morroc, I have to ride a Pecopeco to the vast never-ending dust in front of me. To top it all off, my carriage has broken down. the journey is just beginning but my adversaries are already too much for me.
Entry #53
I have always been fascinated by their trade of dancing ever since I got here a few weeks ago, but I feel like it has been months since I've been here. I have been busy learning stuff and now I am officially a semi-competent dancer.
I miss home, I know. but I know I'll miss something bigger If I hadn't done this.
Entry #55
The ground is burning below my feet, and I think it was the reason I have been productive, for I have to constantly move from here to there and meet people. Do things I have never done before. Dance like I have never danced before. The heat maybe strong but the fire inside my heart is stronger.
Oh, and I also got a job.
Entry #76
A witch that teleports people she didn't like out of her sight, a reputation I witnessed second hand. The fact that I get to hang out with her and not be whisked away by her sorcery meant that she must've liked me.
In all the time i have known Rene Francois, I am always surprised by how wise she is, even under the state of inebriation. Especially under the state of inebriation.
In our drunken minds we discussed profoundly on philosophies and her extensive knowledge of magics. Also of men.
She taught me a lot of things.
She made me realize a lot of things.
This late afternoon was no different. After feeling dejected by how life in Morroc wasn't what I imagined it was, I had fun, but there is no constant for me here, nothing that grounds me. So I turned to her for advice.
She said to me "You've got a lot of options. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another option."
It must've been the alcohol, but I realized I feel like I'm missing something.
Something that I will never find here.
Another option huh..?
Entry #82
After a lot of thinking I felt it was time for me to move out, to venture again, My last day as a Moon of Desert clerk has come to an end.
It was still the same though, Ebert is still impatient with me. Hari is still saying "Trust is what we need the most. Money is next" the same advice she said the first time and times in between.
I will miss them, although we never said it, I know they're gonna miss me too. I felt it. Its too hot here. My eyes are sweating so bad.
PS Tomorrow I'm heading out north of Dayr Desert.
Entry #89
I had the greatest bath today. My skin is burned from the heat at Morroc, and I wouldn't have it any other way but swimming on fresh water over a huge fall is something different. It was always salt water back in my home.
Other than the great cascade, anything beyond Dayr Desert sucks.
Thank Odin I have never encountered wild beasts, ever, in my journey, But something about the mysteriousness of this place bodes my other wise "good luck" an abrupt end.
I'm feeling a bit uneasy that I'm somewhere on a place that has no name so I have no indication of how long it will be till I reach the great city of Prontera.
PS I think I may have caught a cold.
PPS I think that it has something to do with my paranoia.
PPPS I'm also afraid that its completely unrelated, and that it could be much worse.
Entry #90
I've seen better days, but I've also seen worse.
That day and the following days was neither.
I just got my journal back, so I have many things to tell you.
I blacked out sometime after walking, not because of fatigue or starvation but someone...or something sent me dropping to the ground.
I woke up with some aches and pains, but I woke up. My life may not be perfect, but I am blessed.
Apparently, I ended up miraculously near the Amatsu area, specifically Elenas. Yes, I ended up on another dimension. But from what I have heard from the camp (where I'm staying for now) portal bleedings have been an increasing occurrence lately.
Naturally, an unconscious person waking up someplace they didn't sleep at (technically, my situation was I was forced to sleep, by being hit on the back, but, you know, whatever) would ask what date is it.
Apparently I have been sleeping for 2 weeks, WHAT HAPPENED?
I have a theory that I have an amnesia..? but I don't feel like I have one.
A traumatic event perhaps that my brain repressed it? I don't know, I feel peachy, mentally.
And I wasn't mugged, all my money is still intact in my very conspicuous purse. Well, except for my big bag, full of clothes and food, I don't know if I should be happy that I don't have to carry that thing.
But that isn't the most disturbing part. You know why I know that the theories above did not happen?
I got this new Tattoos, In.My.Face.
Ugh, talk about consent, how dare...whatever the thing is, defile my body. Not in that way geez.
It's like one of those Freyjans wear on their faces. They told me.
But it's all good now, I was able to wash it away cause it was just a very strong henna.
PS It's good to write again, but my penmanship is a little bit off.
Entry #91
How I got my journal back : A short story.
Garreia Rindel, Leader of the Amatsu Watch, somewhat doubtful of my existence, thinking I am one of those freyja fanatics, So I have to give my services, and help in the camp, and prove them wrong by my...cooking. I have never really cooked foods that didn't cook for more than 10 minutes, or an hour, if I forgot about it, anything other than that is beyond my skills.
But alas, I have to serve them for the sake of my journal, I don't really care for my reputation, they can assume that I'm a fanatic for all I care.
I did cook them a meal, oddly enough, they seemed to like it, poor people of Elenas has never tasted good food.
So I cooked again, and again....and again. Until they eventually forgot that I was a sketchy person ( in their opinion), I swear I didn't put any Hemoanamnesis pollen from Neon flips, A knowledge I totally didn't learn from a witch. Nope.
Thank Odin, they can't read this anymore cause I am traveling to the East of Mjolnir.
PS I'm writing in bulks of my memory in Elenas.
Entry #92
During my time in Elenas, I have learned a lot.
For one, I learned that Pecos are trained. And I had the misfortune of finding out how bad it is when they aren't trained. See, I worked in caring for untrained Pecos, One of the many jobs I took just to get by.
The other job was selling bread, no untrained pastries were attacking me this time, but trying to sell food when people were thinking that you're an evil-crazy-goddess-follower-crazy-lunatic (Idk, I'm bad at name calling) is well, detrimental to the little shop and more importantly, to me. Why did the old lady hire me anyway...
Entry #93
Fighting, Ah, the sweaty, stench-y act of defending yourself from sweaty and stench-y monsters, and probably other people for morning shower, (The lake is sacred and the potable water source so its off limits) but I digress.
I was taught by a very disciplined, and patient Noels, namely Merilee, Nirsildar, Kiroh and Marquel
I was expecting to learn only disabling monsters for enough time to run away but I had to learn how to defeat them. Which sucks, cause I didn't really need carcasses lying on the floor with their dead eyes boring into me, judging me for what I have done with a little glint of "my parents/brothers/sisters/gang are coming to get you" glow in their eyes.
Oh well, they were tasty anyway.
Persons were harder to fight cause you don't get to eat them later on. So I didn't do well in that area.
Entry #94
What? there were good memories back in Elenas?
Yup, there were more good than bad, there were a lot of potatoes too but that doesn't count. I am indifferent to potatoes.
Speaking of potatoes, not really a good segue but potato-looking creatures, Hokohokos, are everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I miss Koko. No cute Hokohoko can replace him. He easily gets jealous of other pet that I pat. But what he doesn't know won't hurt him right?
PS Maybe I like looking at potatoes but not eating them. I don't know why this entry exist, really, I have no idea why I wrote this.
Entry #95
Elenas is a very beautiful place, lots of good people actually, if my writing has told you other wise. And the beauty doubles when there is dancing.
Fresh Crescentias-to-be Noels held a Ceremony, where they dance with their cresentmoon-like scythes under the moonlight to commemorate their oneness with their other soul, and me being a nosy outsider joined in. They haven't done this tradition in a while for some reason they said.
This kind of ways of moving gracefully under moonlight is something that must be done every night, to celebrate...the night, OK it should be only in special occasions, but at least it should be appreciated every waking hours. I know I would.
Another thing I should appreciate more right now is solid ground.
I'm writing this as I'm flying towards Mjolnir.
PS My face only looks calm outside.
Entry #96
I got a job, again~
As a temporary guard in Elemento Academy.
this was only supposed to be a short stop, but I can't afford another travel without stocking up, and stocking up means money, something I don't have enough of.
I just hope I don't have to use this hammer on any students.
Entry #100
A friend! a friend~ a frieeeend 
A true friend, I would say. We hit it off so quickly, one thing she was saving me from a mob of flips, (that I have probably flipped off by accidentally wetting their pollen) the next I was teaching her how to dance and the next she's teaching me how to properly cook, and now were telling each other about our lives.
Sorry for my outburst but this is one of those moments you are allowed to word vomit in your...own journal. Come to think of it, I am always allowed to write as much as I want but I don't. Cause somethings aren't necessary, like this explanation.
Ok, back to the friend, who is named Sheshe.
She is has read most of the entry in this journal, except the parts were things get spicy and raunchy, which was never. She has read the entirety of this journal, and oddly, She keeps one too so it's only fair that I get to read hers too.
She has a brother, Blyth, who is going to Prontera to work as an apprentice shop keeper for his uncle Eimroto.
She has a passion for cooking, but for some reason she is learning the way of the artisan in the Academy.
I may have just devised some evil plan.
PS She has spicy and raunchy parts in her diary, I am jealous.
Entry #114
In the dawn of night, in Blyth's carriage, my belongings is safely intact, and also Blyth's sister under all the light loads, We are sneaking Sheshe off to Prontera, where the Chef Community is. Where she wanted to go ( and I coerced her into this defiance, I am a very good friend, just not in the parent's eyes)
At long last, Prontera. It will be a long journey. I pray to the heavens that there won't be any 2 weeks comatose business, I'll be having none of it.
Entry #119
Its getting busier and busier here in Prontera, what with the upcoming Festival, me and Blyth has been working very hard in the shop, where the three of us is staying, Sheshe included, she doesn't work though cause she's busy applying in the Chef's Community for the both of us. I might as well learn how to cook while hanging out with her.
So, I was wondering if I could learn how to use magic. Sounds silly really. But it would help cleaning this mess that seems to never go away.
Entry #121
Today was may day off, with my curiosity, I applied to the Magic Academy. I went to the castle today, not to see handsome King Reinhard, but fate has other plans in mind.
There was a lot of lecture, some I have prior knowledge taught by my witch friend, Rene, some was...weird stuff about illumination and the elements of Yggdrasil. I don't know why the instructor took notice of me but, after class, he asked me to "peer" into this giant emerald.
I did what I was told, and WOAH! weird flashbacks that are blurry and I don't remember having flash before my eyes, it all happened so fast, I don't know how, I don't know why but a Boa appeared out of nowhere!
Me, screaming and running for my life ( I hate snakes if you haven't notice ) hid behind what I thought was just a handsome man, (that I would later know as The King) until that handsome man ordered for someone to come and eliminate the snake, and a more handsome man appear and eliminated the threat ( I would later learn that his name is Valen, a Royal Knight of King Reinhard and that he asked me my name )
PS My day was filled with handsome men and snakes.
Oh, and I also quit from learning dark magic, whatever euphemism they give it,that stuff is not for me.
PPS Do tell me what he was like - Sheshe
PPPS You are not allowed to write here, go back to your own journal! But I'll tell you tomorrow breakfast, go to sleep.
Entry #125
I'm still interested in magic, I am persistent about this.
So another option was to go to the church. Exorcising demons and healing people wasn't really in my plans. But I like the shiny magical things thats going on in the magic of priests so I'll try it.
It's actually a very petty reason, simply as an excuse to trivialize my desire so that I won't pursue it, because truth be told I don't want to do it if it's selling points for me is sparkly magic, cause it has more, how do I call it...more responsibility, more commitment.
I have enjoyed being free so far, so going back to a life where you do step 1 step 2 etc etc again and again everyday is kind of a huge leap backwards.
But, I guess I'm going to church tomorrow.
Entry 126
It wasn't that bad...
Except It was, because I agreed to learn the way to priesthood.
Healing people. Exorcising Demons. The Priest Business.
It was surprisingly a better experience than the snake incident, a burned finger from a candle, knee pain from kneeling on floor with little demonic sands and meeting a possessed person, yup, definitely, cause nothing can trump the weird not-my-memory flashbacks I got from the Magic Academy after class activity. It still gives me the heebs AND the jeebs.
I checked the Monks, nearly gave me a heart attack at how fast they were, like three arms air-punching me.
The only thing that made this day better was seeing Valen with the other knights, apparently they're going to East Mjolnir.
PS We talked about other stuff too.
Entry #132
The festival hasn't come yet, and it's already very busy, thank Odin, they hired another shopkeeper so I can accomodate with my training in the Odin Orthodoxy.
Balancing this all, I head out today to start my class in the Chef's Community, where I was met with a new found friend Yun, she's like a warrior with that grill, and the way she handled that knife, I swore she could have killed the poor dead fish again, another hopeless-but-full-of-hope-and-bright-future-case kind of girl
So, the three of us, grouped together to conquer the world of cuisine.
PS I haven't seen Valen come back yet, why do I care, really.
Entry #139
Last night was a memorable moment in my life, I have danced under the flower-filled sky, Had a lot of laughs with my friends, And a fraction of time that was just mine, shared with another person.
I didn't know he'd surprise me, but he did. Valen came back just in time for the festival, I really don't know how I feel about all of this. Happiness is such a limiting word when what you feel is larger than the universe, contained in a tiny vessel, Me.
After all of this, we sneaked away to a secluded place where we talked, endlessly, until we fell asleep.
I woke up on an overlooking outpost, outside the wall.
An innocent looking man, sleeps soundly beside me as I write this. His hair flaxen white under the ray of light.
The sunrise has never meant anything to me back home, just another day, but here, what I saw was different.
A new perspective in life. A new dilemma.
I don't want to be alone forever, but I also love the gypsy life.
What I have with these people, is it worth it when I still have the whole world in front of me?
Love, passion, why do we get caught up by troublesome feelings? the mind couldn't ever get things straight and you lose control knowing what is sensible, deep down it's all vexing...
Should I stay...?
Or should I keep chasing the sunset...?
Edited by poyopachii, 31 January 2014 - 12:27 AM.
