This is my first *official* post on the WP forums, so for those that don't know me, I play TuufIess inside of RO2. (Tuuf "i"ess, not TuufLess)
I'm currently holding an event for my guild that's only open to the guild and friends of the members, and I figured I'd share my entry into the event. [In our event, members and friends need to create a chat log of what the enemy/monster would say during a raid/dungeon event. The winners are chosen by the readers once entry closes.]
I have re-made mine from an almost dead text file from FFXI that inspired me to make an event, and have pretty much recreated and altered it so much from what it once was that it is a new file..And remember that this is just a chat log and my perspective of what monsters would say. First, if you get offended, then I extend you an apology in advanced. Secondly, don't lie to yourself, you know you have heard some individuals say or write something close to the things in the majority of this chat log before. (And please don't whisper me lolRM in game after you read this.)
I have titled this entry "LOL Rat Master". Enjoy.
Spoiler
[G. Guild][Ungoliant]: aggro [G. Guild][Maya]: Again? bro I just had to spinel cuz of these noobs [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: yeah, killed them, they weren't doin much damage. [G. Guild][Maya]: nice [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: thx [G. Guild][RSX-0807]: someone farm me........ [G. Guild][Maya]: lolqueen [G. Guild][Queen of Destruction]: stfu [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: hahhaa [G. Guild][Baphomet]: ROFL [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: lol. [1. Public][Dayr Condor Male]: Zanbee pop [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: , aggro again......same group [G. Guild][Maya]: lol GL [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: killed my summons, got the sm though, idiots, going back out, brb [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: k. [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: sup guys [G. Guild][Gedenhard]: lolRM [G. Guild][Osiris]: lolRM [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: stfu im geting tired of this crap, srsly makes me want to just quit. [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: lol #emoRM [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: -.- [1. Public][Dayr Condor Male]: any1 no wat zanbee drops? [G. Guild][Gedenhard]: ROFL!!!! [G. Guild][Merem]: awww you made me get killed........ [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: HAHA! [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: lol [1. Public][Condorkanki]: no, u cant solo it yet. gonna need a party [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: Aggro again........ [G. Guild][Maya]: dude wtf, seriously.. [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: lol killed the priest, same as last time, brb [G. Guild][Maya]: pick up group? [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: yeah [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: LMAO [G. Guild][Baphomet]: lol [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: lol [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: ...........lolRM [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: STFU! [1. Public][Stone Golem]: are they fixing the combat bug next patch? [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: LMAO just watched them aggro the invisible mobs and the sm died. [G. Guild][Maya]: LMAO! [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: lol [G. Guild][Baphomet]: hahaha [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: lol [G. Guild][Lurker Fly]: .........lolRM [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: STFU!!!!!!!!!!! [1. Public][Sandman]: no, dev's too lazy to fix anything. heard they're just gonna throw patch notes up again like last time without any fixes [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: lol they won't give up [G. Guild][Venomer]: I know... [G. Guild][Maya]: lol [G. Guild][Set]: lol, sup [G. Guild][Venomer]: Hey Set ^^ [1. Public][Stone Golem]: nice [G. Guild][Set]: yo, just got aggroed, mp farmers [G. Guild][Venomer]: lol farmers gonna get raped [G. Guild][Set]: gonna? already done, hahaha! [G. Guild][Venomer]: lol nice!! [G. Guild][Goblin Leader]: Why don't people farm me anymore... [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: ... [G. Guild][Maya]: ... [G. Guild][Baphomet]: ... [G. Guild][Venomer]: ....lolRM [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: STFU [G. Guild][Gedenhard]: LMAO [G. Guild][Abyssal Shadow]: yeah STFU [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: LMAO! [G. Guild][Zadorak]: LOL@venomer dude I can't breathe [G. Guild][Merem]: lol [G. Guild][Humbaba]: ranger is owning me and I cant hit this god damn assassin [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: sounds like someone's goin' down. [G. Guild][Baphomet]: just die and spinel so they can fight me..they tried earlier and got owned harder than Rat Master did by that pick up group [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: LMAO! [G. Guild][Gedenhard]: lolRM [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: STFU!!!!!!!! [1. Public][Gedenhard]: anyone kno the next patch date? [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: dead ; ; [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: need leaf? [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: nah gonna go to the store, later guys [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: peace [G. Guild][Venomer]: later Ung [1. Public][Sandman]: every wednesday . . . . [G. Guild][Humbaba]: lata [G. Guild][Chung-I]: Yo Hum [G. Guild][Humbaba]: Yeah baby? [G. Guild][Chung-I]: I need you and Hong and Bapho for a while [G. Guild][Baphomet]: pop? [1. Public][Muka]: lol just put noel into animation bug [G. Guild][Hong-I]: pop time? [G. Guild][Chung-I]: yea, some noobs in a pickup group we should be good. [G. Guild][Hong-I: k [1. Public][Sandman]: LOL nice [G. Guild][Hong-I]: omw after this [G. Guild][Merem]: Stop lieing you havn't fought anyone in months [G. Guild][Hong-I]: STFU! [G. Guild][Gedenhard]: LMAO!!!!!!!! [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: rofl [G. Guild][Baphomet]: hahahaha [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: Hey...does anyone have any red pots? [1. Public][Adventurer King Poporing]: ned help in wolf cave [1. Public][Adventurer King Poporing]: ned help in wolf cave [1. Public][Adventurer King Poporing]: ned help in wolf cave [1. Public][Gedenhard]: stop spamming nub [G. Guild][Merem]: lolRM [1. Public][Adventurer King Poporing]: ned help in wolf cave [1. Public][Red Scar]: wrong chat [G. Guild][Gedenhard]: lolRM [G. Guild][Osiris]: lolRM [G. Guild][Leviathan]: lolRM [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: lolRM [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: GOD DAMNIT!!!!!!!!! [G. Guild][Lurker Fly]: hahaha! [G. Guild][Maya]: They just pulled me [G. Guild][Osiris]: gl [G. Guild][Maya]: just two noobs [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: lol [G. Guild][Maya]: lol assassin used hide [G. Guild][Osiris]: you gonna follow him? [G. Guild][Maya]: nah [G. Guild][Maya]: assassin using red pots, hold on [G. Guild][Maya]: killed him [G. Guild][Osiris]: you ignored hide??? [G. Guild][Maya]: ya [G. Guild][Golden Thiefbug]: They'll call a GM on you if you do that. [G. Guild][Maya]: so? [G. Guild][Golden Thiefbug]: ...good point, carry on. [G. Guild][Gedenhard]: lol [G. Guild][Maya]: owned [G. Guild][Venomer]: lol nice, they just killed me [G. Guild][Maya]: revenge [G. Guild][Maya]: Looks like they leafing for some more action [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: back [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: wb [G. Guild][Baphomet]: wb [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: thx, hey Ramort you busy? [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: fighting ExO atm [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: lol just give up [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: I know...I need to reskill anyways. [1. Public][Assassin Elder]: wow...did you guys see the patch update for this wednesday?? [1. Public][Assassin Elder]: they're gonna rebalance enemy skills and give them housing [G. Guild][Maya]: they are doing better this time [G. Guild][Ungoliant]: who? [1. Public][Lurker Fly]: thats bs, ive been waiting forever for my own dungeon [G. Guild][Maya]: pick up group [G. Guild][Osiris]: lol [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: lol [G. Guild][Poring]: lolRM [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: STFU! [1. Public][Zadorak]: This game is broken. I'm going to aura kingdom [G. Guild][Maya]: WTF they got me and stole my feelers [G. Guild][Baphomet]: how...only 2? what setup? [G. Guild][Maya]: sm and assassin [1. Public][Rabstang]: can i have ur gear? [G. Guild][Baphomet]: ....and that killed you how? [G. Guild][Maya]: armor broken [G. Guild][Charming Ramort]: lol [G. Guild][Maya]: STFU [G. Guild][Gedenhard]: lmao [G. Guild][Osiris]: hahahaha! [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: lol [G. Guild][Neon Flip]: ..........lolRM [G. Guild][Rat Master Kremp]: ... STFU!!
Thanks! I had a lot of people ask me to make more of these, but the biggest let down I had was that no one here seems to have heard of [GM]Dave. Those who haven't played Final Fantasy XI would have a difficult time understanding the blog posts if I referenced them here, so instead I'll be beginning the translation from FFXI to RO2. I'll be uploading an example tonight to this thread, as well as the link to his blog. I'm not wishing to steal credit for his work, but instead spread it in a fashion that everyone can enjoy and understand. However, the one thing that will make this process difficult is that GMDave is renowned for feeding his victims to a dragon, and I'm drawing a blank in the realm of RO2 in regards to locating a dragon. Maybe someone could give me a helping hand soon.
This is just one blog post of [GM]Dave. If people enjoy this as much as I do and wish to see more of these FFXI to RO2 translations, please let me know.
If you wish to see [GM]Dave's original work and attempt in reading it yourself, you can either google [GM]Dave, or go to the link here: http://bannable-offenses.blogspot.com/ (You may wish to travel deep into the Archives..Say, the oldest one.)
(This post is titled "WoE Guild Vs Queen of Destruction")
Spoiler
It was bound to happen eventually.
This morning, I was working an early shift when I received a GM call from Fallen Fortress.
Gee, I wonder what this call could be about.
Could someone be stuck?
Maybe there is a glitch they'd like to report.
GM Call Description: Other Guild is attempting to steal Queen of Destruction. Help.
Wow. Guild drama.
I'm shocked.
Anyway, once the initial surprise wore off, I logged in and teleported to their location.
Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: Hail, Adventurer. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: What the problem is? Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: That other guild is trying to steal our claim. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: And why would they do that? Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: They say we can't beat it. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: Well... how much have you taken her HP down? Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: She's at 94%. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: My, that is a very accurate estimate. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: One might think you can see monster's HP percents. Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: ... Yeah. Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: I guessed. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: Sure you did. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: Okay, she's at 94%. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: How long have you been fighting? Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: It's been about two hours now. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: ... Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: Are you kidding? Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: No. Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: A little over two hours, I think. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: That's pathetic. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: At this rate, you'll be done by October. Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: We're handling it. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: What the hell is taking so long? Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: Are you hoping she'll die from old age? Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: Hey, that's not fair. Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: We're doing our best. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: That's good. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: Never give up. Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: Thank you. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: Unless you really suck. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: And then you should totally give up. Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: Listen. Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: We claimed fair and square. Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: Puns are not funny. Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: It's our Queen of Destruction and they're trying to steal it. Message to [iRO2 GM Dave]: So, are you going to do something or not? Message from [iRO2 GM Dave]: I guess I will.
*warpaga*
[N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: Everyone! [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: Welcome to GM Jail. [N. Normal][Stealer1]: What the hell?! [N. Normal][Stealer2]: What's going on?! [N. Normal][Stealer1]: We didn't do anything! [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: You're here for attempting to steal claim. [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: Are there any more questions? [N. Normal][Player1]: Uhh... Yeah. [N. Normal][Player1]: Why is our LS here? [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: You have been accused of sucking. [N. Normal][Player1]: Accused? [N. Normal][Player1]: By who? [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: Did I say "accused"? [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: Silly me. [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: I meant "found guilty". [N. Normal][Player2]: That's so not true. [N. Normal][Player2]: We don't suck. [N. Normal][Stealer1]: Actually... You really do. [N. Normal][Stealer3]: I have to agree. [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: See? [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: The ***hats agree with me. [N. Normal][Stealer3]: Wait... Did you just call us ***hats? [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: Did I say "***hats"? [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: Silly me. [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: I meant "***hats". [N. Normal][Stealer1]: That's the same thing. [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: You're quick. [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: You must be the mastermind. [N. Normal][Player1]: You can't do this. [N. Normal][Player3]: LET US OUT! [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: We have to have a fair trial first. [N. Normal][Player1]: A fair trial? [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: Mostly fair. [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: More or less fair. [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: Yeah... Not so much with the fair. [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: Can I interest you in a lynching? [N. Normal][Player2]: I want to file a complaint. [N. Normal][Player1]: Yeah. Me, too. [N. Normal][Stealer2]: Me, too.
It's like shooting fish in a barrel.
With a bazooka.
[N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: Would you like me to direct you to our complaints manager?
*GLEE*
[N. Normal][Player1]: Yes. Right away. [N. Normal][Stealer2]: You're so dead.
Osiris hits Stealer2 for 14,893 points of damage. Stealer2 was defeated by Osiris.
[N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: I love irony. [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: Who's next?
The panic rippled their masses and people tried to run.
Silly, silly people.
But then something odd happened.
[N. Normal][Player1]: GUYS! [N. Normal][Player1]: We can take him if we work together! [N. Normal][Stealer1]: You're right. [N. Normal][Stealer1]: Warriors to the front!
They actually banded together to fight MY Mummy.
MY Mummy.
Apparently, being sent to prison has caused them to have some sort of psychological break.
They are obviously insane.
Unfortunately, they seemed to be doing a rather good job of holding Osiris off. The Warriors were working together to bounce threat around and their Wizards were doing some good damage.
Things looked bad for our heroes. Osiris only had a sliver of life left and I was grossly outnumbered.
OH NOEZ!
[N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: Silly, silly people.
[GM]Dave uses Pet Food Omega on Osiris.
[N. Normal][Stealer3]: What the hell is Pet Food Omega?! [N. Normal][Player2]: OH s**t! [N. Normal][Player2]: HE'S COMPLETELY HEALED! [N. Normal][Stealer1]: Calm down. [N. Normal][Player1]: Yeah. [N. Normal][Player1]: We can just take him down again.
[GM]Dave uses Skeleton.
[N. Normal][Player1]: HAHAHA!!! [N. Normal][Stealer2]: Oh no, he summoned his little skeleton. [N. Normal][Stealer2]: I'm real scared now. [N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: Not exactly.
And that's when Set, Anubis, and Gregorshema spawned right behind them.
[N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: Are you scared now?
Oh, it was chaos after that. Morons running in every direction, OMGs and WTFs flying to and fro.
The bodies piled up fast.
Very, very fast.
[N. Normal][iRO2 GM Dave]: That's what you get for picking on a poor, defenseless mummy.