Lost Days DLC Package ($4.95)
Hey there, it's Koerperich here,
Unless you're a crim, there's nothing to fear.
Been a little busy, on a crime-hunting spree,
At the end of Day 26, had a little time free.
Went to the store, renovating my place,
Not much time though, gotta do it post-haste.
Went up to the salesman, asked how much for four?
"$3" said the salesman, how 'bout twenty-four?
"$6" said the salesman, how 'bout a hundred twenty-four?
"$9" said the salesman, um okay, you sure?
What did I get from store?
Hold on, I've got a call.
Someone's just pried open my safe, come Koerperich, save the day!
As the only Law Enforcement in town, I'll be there right away.
By the time I had arrived it was very early the next morning.
Still dark, the day, this Day 27, was not yet dawning.
Koerperich here, how may I be of service?
Thank God you're here, you've got to hear this.
It was McNeill, and what did he have to say?
My wife's in hospital, she'll be okay.
But now I've got to cook to for myself,
And I was in the kitchen, when I noticed something pass the shelf.
I ran to the hallway and saw a figure moving away from me.
I gave chase and realised the person had my wife's jewellery.
The person ran straight out the door with the case.
I followed in pursuit, and gave chase.
Alas it was dark, and the person was fast,
Into the darkness, the perpetrator got away, blast!
I went to the nearest pay phone and called you,
Then I went back home and had a poo,
That's when you arrived here in your shiny car,
And then, well, here we are.
Let me inspect this safe of yours... hmm, yes it seems damaged to me.
Unfortunately for you, I somehow think that you are lying to me.
Look Koerperich, I know what you're thinking, oh my God!
Just because it's me, McNeill, doesn't mean it's attempted fraud.
And what is it you suppose I'm thinking?
You think I could possibly be wrong, you think I've been drinking?
I went on home, it was about time I had a rest.
I woke up on Day 28, to someone in distress.
I made it to the scene, it was a gruesome mess,
There was a traffic collision, one to depress.
It seems an RV had crashed head-on[1] with a truck,
And the driver of the truck was out of luck.
So was the driver of the RV, and one of the passengers too,
The only survivor, a second passenger and it was... you!?
McNeill, how was the insurance company?
That's none of your biz, you trying to make fun of me?
Fine, fine, fine.
But what's your story this time?
Well you see, I really don't know,
We were in the back here playing Go.
We didn't see this collision happening,
We were just in the back doing some gambling.
Nothing crazy, just a little to make the game of weiqi more interesting.
A little dosh on the side to the winner just to pay for the next carton, ya listening?
Speaking of cartons, that's when it happened, my opponent got up to grab a beer,
And that's when the collision happened and he flew to the rear.
Seems like he killed himself hitting the rear door handle, I wonder how that felt.
Me, I was lucky to survive, I guess I owe my life to always wearing a safety belt.
I'm sorry McNeill but I'm going to have to take you in for questioning.
-_- man, you -_-ing for real? This can't be happening!
Why, oh why is this happening to me?
You'll be in a holding cell for now but after questioning, we'll see.
The next Day, Day 29, I climbed up this godforsaken Snow-Covered Mountain
Reaching the house in question, I knocked, *knock* "Hello will you let me in?"
No answer, I guess I'll let myself in, ugh, it's just as I suspected.
A body lay on the floor, dead, as I expected,
In a pool of blood, a bullet through the head,
Oh yes, this guy is definitely dead.
My my what's this nearby, a note I've found,
Yes near dead people, these things tend to be around.
"Ever since I lost my legs, I've got no reason to live,
I'm always relying on McNeill, with his kindness, always ready to give,
Well no more will he have to be burdened, I leave everything to him,
Signed; Jim"
*Woof woof* what's that, Poppy, my companion, what have you found?
The scent of tracks? Let's follow, see who came 'round.
Following the tracks led to... McNeill... hello.
Hi Koerperich, I'm not in the cell but I'm allowed here though,
See I applied for bail, and they let me go.
Of course I have to return but that's not 'til tomorrow; so
What brings you here to my winter retreat?
It's winter now, but soon you'll be feeling the heat,
It's Jim, he's dead and he left everything to a certain chappy.
What? Are you sure, I was visiting last week he seemed so happy.
Well, you see that chappy is none other than you, McNeill,
Unfortunately, I'm arresting you on suspicion of murder, how's that feel?
What? Why man? What do you have against me? I didn't do nothing holmes,
Miranda rights man, and you ain't getting bail this time, now, I'm going home.
Day 30, took a day off, seeing way too much McNeill the last few days.
Went to to tuck my son in bed "Daddy, tell me a story, okay?"
Okay son, I knew an old man once, really wealthy, with just one son and no other.
The man didn't get along with his wife, they split and the son was raised by his mother.
Unfortunately, the mother also died, and he lost contact with his heir,
When his lawyers went looking for whom his fortune would be bequeathed majority share,
Several men came forward, fitting the description, name, age, weight and height.
However, only one could be true, hence they had themselves a plight
Contacting the dead man's old friends the lawyers derived a test,
Of all the men, only one refused and it was to him, to whom the bequeathment would be best.
Why were those, so eager and co-operative regarded as fakes,
and the man who refused, given all the stakes?
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[1] Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Special Rules Apply:
You may answer all five of the riddles, however, you may only dedicate one post to one riddle and there will be no double posting. Anything that happens is up to my unfair discretion.