I think it was like 30 minutes ago and 20 gums in...
I was fly winging and saving rolling cutters for poor shelps (who i made invincable and ever giving and never really dieing)
i had this feeling....
i'm looking outside for an idol that wont' even turn to dust, it will just disappear in a made up space
well nothing new to me
i know myself to know that is why i made the body , to see out wards instead of looking inside for treasure
(i think to blame other people for the massive lack inside of me that i continually try to cover up with weed)
well anyways, after that 2 second struggle in my mind and forgiving myself
i had this chill, in my body but more so in my mind
the perception of my eyes wasn't the focus
i was in a dark cloud, like a place of the mind that really really REALLY wants stuff
it wasn't that dark to me because i like the darkness but i also love the light when i close my eyes in bed its like 70% heaven
100% heaven was like too scary for me (esctasy grew to dangerous levels and the awareness was hard to describe) and i had to create a personality that was scared and i listened to that voice and came back to the world
well then i got cross ripper slashed flying eye
and i got the card
and now i seem to have more zenies
and feel like it's meaningless, and thats a good thing