29 replies to this topic

[Faolain]

Seeing as there's no Art or Story forum, I'm posting this here. Put in a command for the character to do.

=>Command

Like so. Hopefully we'll get a story going. Yes, this is like "You Awaken in Razor Hill". Alternately if you've read Microsoft Paint Adventures, it's like that but in text form. It's just for fun, though, so hopefully we get something interesting. Only one command per post, please, and don't flood. Maybe it'll be something fun to do during the upcoming downtime.

Please keep all commands, at most, PG-13.




You are a Ranger and your name is Healpls. You like this name, but all it manages to do is offend priests. You have a pet poring who's name is Itenspls, and nobody ever seems to understand this one either, probably because they're all worthless plebeians who will never understand the fine, arcane art of glorious ironic Engrish.

You are level 50.

You do not know why you logged in at Izlude, because as far as you remember you were trying to sell Pandora's Boxes in Prontera for 50 zeny a pop to no avail because you think it's an exceptionally rare item, but there are no NPCs in sight. Frankly this whole thing is confusing you greatly.

Itenspls seems to be disturbed, its body liquefying and sticking to your legs, making you incredibly uncomfortable.

You have 200 Oridecon Arrows.

To the West is the South Plain, to the South is Payon Forest.

Directly in front of you is Izlude's main building, which for some reason the game would never let you enter previously but who's door now hangs ajar, allowing you to see inside.

(Your HP is at 100%)
(Your SP is at 100%)
(Your Guardian meter is empty)

=> Check Inventory

Your inventory consists of
(200) Oridecon Arrows
(1) Shiny Wood Bow
(5) Replacement Bowstrings
(2) Jellopies
(1) Butterfly Wing
(2) Moth Dust
(27) Pandora's Boxes
(2) Red Potion III
(1) Blue Potion II

You have no idea what you're going to do with all of this stuff, and for the first time your hoarding tendencies have not come in handy.

It is about noon, judging by the highly pixellated sun.

What will you do?

Edited by Faolain, 21 April 2013 - 01:21 PM.

[Njoror]

I tape the butterfly wings to Itenspls and throw it at Izlude's main building doorway.

(I will try and get a Fan section up and running soon!)

[Faolain]

=> I tape the butterfly wings to Itenspls and throw it at Izlude's main building doorway.

Some cosmic force has given you a particularly moronic idea. You take your Butterfly Wings and press them against Itenspls and begin searching your bags for tape. Finding no tape, you are, unfortunately, disappointed.

However, the butterfly wings seem to stick anyway, so you pick up the poring, who doth protest muchly by attempting to bite you, and hurl it at the building. Finding that it goes through the door perfectly fine, bouncing off the far wall with a loud BOING sound, so you elect to enter the building.

Itenspls seems to be angry with you, until it realises it has Butterfly Wings stuck to it's head.

(Itenspls now thinks it is an Fairyring.)

=> Observe the Building

Now that you're inside, you can get a better look at the inside of this building. It appears to be where the Kafra Ladies would stay, judging by the look of the racks of angel-winged brooms. There are several tables set out with still-cooling meals placed on them. To the left is a set of stairs leading up, probably to the bedrooms, and behind you is a set of stairs leading to a cellar.

Itenspls seems to be having a ball in here, climbing around to the various tables and absorbing the food left behind when all the NPCs were supposedly vaporized into hyperspace. Or something.

Edited by Faolain, 21 April 2013 - 02:55 PM.

[Machiavellian]

=> Search the room for something to open the Pandora's Boxes with

[Faolain]

=> Search the room for something to open the Pandora's Boxes with

There is nothing in your immediate vicinity that would allow you to open a Pandora's Box, but your instinct tells you that basements and attics are usually Storage Rooms. You know that there's an attic in this building because of the window up there that you saw on the outside, but the cellar is closer, so you elect to head down there.

You turn toward the stairs behind the counter and descend until you find a door and jiggle the handle, attempting to turn it, although you find that you cannot. It seems that the door is locked, and if you don't want to injure yourself trying to break it down, you'll need a Key to get inside. The Key is probably in one of the Kafra's bedrooms, probably the Head Kafra for the region.

Edited by Faolain, 21 April 2013 - 02:19 PM.

[Alvana]

=> Make a quicksave
=> Kick the door down anyway

Edited by Alvana, 21 April 2013 - 02:33 PM.

[Machiavellian]

=> Make a quicksave
=> Kick the door down anyway

lol'd

[Faolain]

=> Make a quicksave
=> Kick the door down anyway

A realisation suddenly hits you - this is still a game, although everything certainly looks and feels real. You open up the options menu and begin to search for a way to save the game.
Resolution: 1280 x 768 (wide)

View Mode: Fullscreen

Color Quality: 32bit

View Range
|-------O----|
Shadow
|---O--------|
Texture
|-----------O|
Lighting/Gamma
|-O----------|

You elect to turn up the Lighting/Gamma, in case it gets dark, but the mover won't budge. You switch to the other tab.

Huh. Now that's interesting.

Where explanations of the different modes of view would be, you only can make out mangled, broken text. To be fair, however, this isn't much different from how it normally is, even thoug it's made from normal letters, the Engrish is so bad you can barely understand it in the first place.

A̷̡̧̻̬̞̱ͪ̓͆̓͐̔̚b̰͇̺͚͈̦̠̃̓y̵ͥ̋̔ͫ҉̤̦͇̭ṡ̴̑͏̬͍͚̩̣̣͕̱s̵͓̟̗͗̉ͧͧ͑̓͟͠ȧ̻͕̥ͭ͐ͨ̏͢͠l͙̹̭͋̚͘ͅ ͌͆̿͌ͬ̚҉̸̗̜̜̗̰̲̩Ḑ͙̬̜̼̞̻̔ͪ͊̈́́͘a̬͖̮̯̫͎͉ͩ͐ͣ̾ͨ̓̑̚ŕ͍̮̣̲̟̞͍̥̀̎ͅk̀̒̎ͮ̌̍̊͗̀͏҉̳nͩ̑̂ͥ̀̒ͨ͏̱͍̺̰̯̳̙ͅę̵͔̩̫̰͇̯̙̤̩̊͂̈́̂̅ͭ̾s̅͏̡̧̰͙ͅs̵̯̰͕ͯ͑
|-----------O|
Å͖͖̥̹̻͌̌ͤ̍ͦ̕͡ ̛̠͓̘̳̥̜̗̬ͣT̶͎͓͈̳̋ͪ͒ͤ̍͂ͣh̵̛͈͕̔̏̄ͧ̍͋͐͟o̝̮͕̺͎̺̠̩̙͐͋̑ͥ̔̒̓͡u̴̧̳͎ͪͫ́ͯ͛͟s̷͓̲̪͓̜̝̣̃ͩͬ͆̅a̵͚͙͙͈̟͌̏͂ͨͣͦ̈n̼̱̬͕͖͎ͧ̑̈͐̊̓͘͢͡d̸͚̟̂̏͂ͭ͆ͩ͜ ̲̌ͬ̿ͦ̽̚B͍̘̰̣̬̾́l̳̜̰ͣ̀i̶̤̲̞̬̖̪̾͂͞n͙̗̞̙̪̽̚̚k̡̞͈͔̺͍͒î͔̝̩̣͍͍̳̅ͣͨ͢ñ̅̃҉̞̺̖͓̥̪ͅg̛̦͎̝͉̳̖̯ͮ̈̈̍̀̚ ̢͇͓̙ͤ̾ͯͬͅẺ̛͖͇̤͕̖ͬͦ̍̂͊̌̀̚͟y͈̳͎̟͊̈́́ȩ̰̝͙̮͚̪̘̝̯̿̈ͧ̊͆ͣͧş̶͓̼̅ͥ̑͊̒͜ ̳̹̤̫̈́͂̉̄ͨ̀̀͌Ş̯̘̩̦͉̿ͦ̔͜t̴̼̠͉̫̝̔͑̅ͨ̃̇a̶̟̪̬͕̱ͤ̎̔ͧ̒͑r̼͚̤̰̈ͣ́͟i̢̤ͣ͐̎̏̄̇ͩ͢n̩̠̞͈̈́ͪͤ͐̎ͪ͐͂̚gͣ͌ͥ̽̋ͯ͆͆̚͏͉̰̗̺̯͕͎ͅ ̾̊̀ͤ̃̏ͩͤ҉̝̦̳̪̟͎͚̠Ḁ͎͙̺̩̘́͘ṭ̜̪̝̲͛͋͗̔͛̍͌ͭ ̹̺̿̅͜͞Y̮̜̺̰͚̣̘͛͢͜o̧̻̮ͤ̃ͦͧ̈́u̓̉̽ͬ̉̓̐҉̸̶̜͚̜͉̮̟ͅ ̮̰ͧ͌̽͊́͘I̦̰̖̊ͬ̄̾ͭ͢͟ñ̖̎̕͢ç̥͔͎̽͐̽͟͡ē̫̩̣̦̖̻̬̣ͦ͗ͤ̾͟s̵͚̤̥ͫ̀̊ͮ̍s̡͙͇͆̅͋̀̿e̮̰̤̝̞̻̰͖̖̊̓ͥ́ͬ̓ͦ́n̪̹̰̪͓̻̭͍̑ͥ̔͗̅͘͠tͤͯͤͧ͋̅͏̘͚l̶̋̀҉̭͕͎͚y͖̩̘̱̥ͦ͒
|-----------|
S̛̭̬̙͇͕͍̯͐͊̾͂l͎̮͔͎̦̝̱̱̽ͮ̒̕e̖̯̳̯̗̓͡n̵̻̦ͤ̎͆́́d͑ͦͣ̄ͫ͐͝҉̳̣͇̲̝̟̖͉͠eͭ͗͛͢͏̨ͅr̖̳̲̤͙̭̺͇͈ͫͣ ̻̜͓̖̖̦̎̄͂̀́K̗͕̞̖̮̤̀ͯ́͝ả̢͉̦̟͔̙̎ͩ̽f̷̝̳͈͕̗̘̼͈̠̎r̽ͮͨͤͫͥ̍̇̿͝͏̟̪̳̦͉͔̤̬ȧ̢ͣͤ͛̾̈̓ͭ͜ͅ
|-----------|

Wait, did that one say Slender Kafra? You gulp, hoping that a pointless meme hasn't managed to merge with your game.

You find the quicksave button and try to click it, but it seems that you can't, the button is grayed out.

You close your Gaming Abstraction and resolve to kick down the door. You adjust your bow at your back, stretch your arms, and prepare yourself.

"FOR PRONTERA, MOTHER******!"

With a lusty cry, you hurl yourself at the door, blasting through the door painfully and colliding against the stone wall opposite. You take some time to pick yourself up, ripping the worse of the splinters from your skin, and brush yourself off.

(Your HP is now 75%).

You appear to be in a cellar of some sort. Stacked on the shelves nearby are many liquid-filled jars. Upon closer inspection, the jars seem to be filled with body parts of what you hope are animals.
In the corner there is a chest that looks similar to a Pandora's Box, but bigger.

[Alvana]

* Who needs a freaking battlecry to kick down a door, seriously?

=> Observe room and chest like Sherlock Holmes would

Edited by Alvana, 21 April 2013 - 03:01 PM.

[Faolain]

=> Observe room and chest like Sherlock Holmes would

You begin to hum to yourself a song that would sound AWESOME if you had a violin. You take one arrow and place it in your mouth like a pipe. You take another arrow and stick a jellopy on the pointed end, pretending that it's a magnifying glass.

You begin to skulk around the chest as Itenspls comes down the stairs to see what you're up to. Depending on what rendition of Sherlock Holmes you are referring to, you would either need an iphone or a hunting cap.

You flip the latch on the chest and lift the lid, the arrow dropping from your mouth with a clatter on the floor. The sheer number of Pandora's Hammers you have found would make any stingy stickler's mouth water with delight. Your mind reels as you imagine yourself standing in Prontera, Saintess Aione next to you with her arms around you, gazing at you adoringly, all the Kafra ladies electing you as their leader in chief, and the king bestowing knighthood on you.

This is very silly.

It has just occurred to you that a battlecry and now daydreaming about the lovely ladies of the world might make you look like a bit of an idiot, but thankfully the only one here to judge you is Itenspls, and he's far too busy attempting to fly, so you doubt he has much right to do so.

You must now decide whether you want to crack open your boxes now, or if you want to save some of these hammers for later. They might make a good blunt weapon if you ever need one.

[Alvana]

=> Take 1x Pandora's Hammer from the chest and close it
=> Take the arrow that's on the floor
=> Get back up to main floor, tell Itenspls to follow
=> Seems to be suffering from amnesia, look at myself to see if I'm male or female.

[Faolain]

=> Take 1x Pandora's Hammer from the chest and close it
=> Take the arrow that's on the floor
=> Get back up to main floor, tell Itenspls to follow
=> Seems to be suffering from amnesia, look at myself to see if I'm male or female.

You take a single hammer from the chest and then close the chest, placing this in your pack. You decide that if you need more hammers, you could always come back and get some more, after all, the broken door isn't going to repair itself.

(Obtained Item: (1) Pandora's Hammer)

You then pick up the Arrow on the floor, remove the Jellopy from the Arrow in your hand, and place them back in your quiver.

You motion for Itenspls to follow you, and it hops up onto your head like a faithful companion, and you head back up the stairs. On the way, you realise you've somehow forgotten what gender you are, and when you arrive, crawling through the you-shaped hole in the door, stare in the mirror nearby.

You're a handsome fellow, you do say so yourself, with a sort of androgenous attractiveness that only comes from the most elegant of bishounens. You could look lovely in a dress or a suit, and you have quite a charming smile. You have medium-length black hair and purple eyes, and your hair partially covers one of them. To be fair, you look like literally everyone else in the world.

The reason you're single is because you're a bit of an idiot, and all the girls in Prontera are too stuck up to go out with a guy with less than a full set of Coloseum gear.

You could head upstairs to see what's up there, or you could go outside.

It will be night soon.

[Alvana]

=> Go upstairs

[Faolain]

=> Go upstairs

You head upstairs, seeing that exploring this building fully would probably be the smart thing to do, and the first thing that greets you is a key hanging from the rack on a door. You inspect this key closely and find that there is a small piece of parchment attached to it. It's labelled, "Cellar".

Upstairs looks like a long hallway. There are three rooms with closed doors, and an attic that you can reach up to and pull down. The room at the end of the hallway is probably the largest.
The whole hallway looks like Martha Stewart exploded on it, with pink pastels and flowers covering every inch of the wall, vases and tables line the wall between the rooms, and one of the tables has a little pink fish in a bowl on it.

There are several kitten pictures, cameos and teacups hanging from racks on the wall.

You feel slightly ill.

[Alvana]

=> Open every doors and look for a bedroom

[Faolain]

=> Open every doors and look for a bedroom

All of the doors unlock easily. The two bedrooms on either side don't seem to contain anything of interest, but the largest one does.
First of all, it stinks like hot wet garbage on a sunny day. Second of all, there's a number of papers on the bed. You head into the bedroom and pick up the papers, wondering what exactly they were.

They appear to be heavily smudged, distorted logs of Kafra transactions, such as who took the transport to where, when, and what they bought. The two most sold items seem to be Pandora's Hammers and Butterfly Wings.

There's not much else worth mentioning until you get to the bottom of the pile, which at first appears to be a blank piece of paper until you turn it over. On the paper in black pencil was a crude sketch of several trees and the words "SHE COMES", in an equally sketchy scrawl.

You ponder this for a moment before turning around and OH SWEET ODIN FOUND THE KAFRA.

She seems to be hanging in front of the closet, a noose constricting her neck. Her face was contorted in a twisted, disgusting appearance of a graphical error, her skin pulled out at all angles and her eyes invisible. She didn't appear to be bleeding, thankfully, but it's still enough to make you feel even more ill than the kittens and floral print.

She seems to be holding something.

[Alvana]

=> Yell "Sachiko! We beg of you!" 6 times

* Too soon?

Edited by Alvana, 21 April 2013 - 04:17 PM.

[Niji]

hahaha

[Machiavellian]

=> Report graphical error in the bug section of the WarpPortal forums
=> Make Itenspls grab the object in the kafra lady's hand and bring it over

Edited by Machiavellian, 21 April 2013 - 04:09 PM.

[Faolain]

((I'll post more when exp surge is done.))

[Faolain]

=> Yell "Sachiko! We beg of you!" 6 times

You raise your voice and begin to yell the words that have popped into your head, six times. When you've finished, absolutely nothing happens. Itenspls is staring at you in bewilderment.
It occurs to you that Sachiko is a very benign name. You know at least seventeen people named some variation of Naruto, Kirito, Sasuke and Legolas, but only a few have you met Sachiko. They're mostly NPCs.

You've successfully wasted four minutes pondering your actions.

=> Report graphical error in the bug section of the WarpPortal forums
=> Make Itenspls grab the object in the kafra lady's hand and bring it over

You hit the Windows key and attempt to bring up the forums. However, nothing happens. It seems you cannot minimize the game.

You pick up Itenspls and hold him out to the Kafra's hand, averting your gaze from the grotesque sight. The poring grabs the thing in her hand and tugs it out of her hand, and you quickly swipe it from its mouth before the item is digested.

On closer inspection the thing appears to be a document. Reading it over, it details the story of Sachiko, a wayward Kafra who went missing in Izlude Cave exactly two years prior. She had never been found despite many search parties of adventurers looking for her.

Looking out the window, you notice that the world outside has become dark. It's night time.

Edited by Faolain, 21 April 2013 - 05:08 PM.

[Alvana]

=> Free the kafra and bury her in the backyard, burn her bones so she doesn't go crazy and haunt everybody.
=> Find some plank/wood nearby and use 1x replacement bowstring to make a cross for the grave
=> Prey at the grave to lift up the spirit
=> Get back up to a bedroom and sleep until it's daytime

Edited by Alvana, 21 April 2013 - 05:13 PM.

[Machiavellian]

=> Free the kafra and bury her in the backyard, burn her bones so she doesn't go crazy and haunt everybody.
=> Find some plank/wood nearby and use 1x replacement bowstring to make a cross for the grave
=> Prey at the grave to lift up the spirit
=> Get back up to a bedroom and sleep until it's daytime

You forgot to add the salt and holy water.

Edited by Machiavellian, 21 April 2013 - 05:17 PM.

[Faolain]

=> Free the kafra and bury her in the backyard, burn her bones so she doesn't go crazy and haunt everybody.
=> Find some plank/wood nearby and use 1x replacement bowstring to make a cross for the grave
=> Pray at the grave to lift up the spirit
=> Get back up to a bedroom and sleep until it's daytime

You are a man of Odin. Your sister became a famous Priestess, and you've had a crush on Saintess Aione for as long as you can remember. During that time, you've learned a few things about the dead.

The first is that they're dangerous, if your adventures in Payon have taught you anything in particular. They could raise up, and since you're not quite sure what sort of place this is, it's best to be safe.

You take an arrow and cut down the Kafra from the noose and throw her over your shoulder, carefully carrying her down and out of the house. You place her down and begin to dig, finding a shovel nearby to help you.

Then you place her inside the deep hole, wandering into the house once more to find some salt. Although you have no holy water, you figure that salt would be enough. Tossing the powder into the hole, you then light a match from inside and toss it in.

The whole thing goes up in smoke, and then you fill the hole before getting down on your hands and knees, praying to Odin.

Since you're not an Acolyte, you're not sure how effective it is. More than likely she has been transported to Helheim, the default place of rest for anyone who's not a hero. The stories of the gods and goddesses have told you that Hela, the goddess of the Underworld, was a benevolent if rather temperamental goddess, daughter of Loki, Odin's blood brother.

You have basic knowledge of all the gods, but a particular one eludes your memory. Freyja was a goddess of love and grace as well as war, until her corruption from envy. She used to be widely celebrated, but that fell out of practice in recent centuries.

That's it, you've somehow survived another Day of Despair! Damn Freyja, she must be behind this freaky place!

You pause your pondering and head back inside, flopping down on a bed in one of the rooms that don't stink, deciding it would be better to sleep until daylight.

You wake around eight hours later according to the clock on the wall, but the world is still dark. If anything, darker than before.

[Alvana]

=> Slowly leave the bedroom and go to the larger "master" room since I can hear high-pitch noises coming from it